Here are 6 short anecdotes —about school, gratitude, and systems of support—that all revolve around the longing to treat one another with utmost gentleness. Human beings are profoundly delicate and vulnerable. We have the power either to break them or to nurture and strengthen them
1. A School Report
Recently, my girlfriend’s daughter received a school report from a few of her teachers, stating: “She is too busy with her friends and not paying enough attention in class.”
When I read this, I felt a rush of enthusiasm, thinking: YES! She’s prioritizing the most vital aspect of life: building and nurturing relationships.
How unfortunate that, instead of celebrating her natural inclination toward connection, the report framed it as a problem—something she should change.
How sad.
2. My Own School Experience
During my school years, I learned more from sports and ball games than from math or chemistry. Those moments of play taught me about movement and coordination, how to follow my passions wholeheartedly, how to collaborate, and how to function within a group—a system of interdependence. Later, I became a dancer, and those skills served me far better than the school subjects I was forced to engage with—most of which I barely remember.
Back then, I felt a great deal of shame. I got the message that my interests were less valuable. My behavior was often labeled ‘problematic’, and I began to see myself as “a bad one,” believing something was wrong with me.
Sad.
3. Appreciating and Celebrating Children
These experiences inspired me to create a school. In 2016, I became one of the initiators of a school called L.I.F.E. (Learning in a Free Environment). I wanted to create a space where children are appreciated and celebrated for who they already are—their passions and contributions—rather than being evaluated based on who they should become.
4. Shifting the Focus to Appreciation
In recent months, I’ve faced significant challenges with my body. Pain has emerged like mushrooms after rain, affecting my voice (I can hardly speak), my fingers and wrists (I can hardly type), and my knees and feet (I can hardly exercise). This is an escalation of a process I’ve been dealing with for the last five years.
These difficulties brought a wave of fear and depression about potentially losing the ability to do what I love—teaching and my daily physical exercises.
Last week, when the pain and limitations were at their peak, I realized I had been constantly focused on what wasn’t working in my body. I thought about my girlfriend’s daughter and how I wished her teachers would see what she is rather than what she isn’t. So, I started applying the same principle to myself and my body. I began expressing gratitude for my body and everything it can do, three times a day.
Almost immediately, my inner experience shifted. My gloomy, depressive feelings softened into curiosity and openness.
5. Loneliness
With all these body symptoms, I strongly suspected there might be a connection between them, and I wanted to explore and research what it could be. But when I asked my doctor for support, he immediately said, “I don’t see a connection between your symptoms.” When I tried to discuss possible tests and directions to research, he repeated more firmly, “I DO NOT see a connection between your symptoms!”
I felt so lonely with my pain and limitations.
6. Being part of a Human Network of Mutual Support
Two weeks ago, I facilitated a mediation session for a couple. The woman, originally from the Philippines and now living in Germany with her husband, shared a traumatic experience. A few months ago, while giving birth at home, she began bleeding heavily. They rushed to the hospital, only to be told there were no beds available. She had to drive another 30 minutes to another hospital in search of help, all while carrying a vulnerable life within her and bleeding in a concerning way.
It was deeply traumatic for her. In the Philippines, she explained, you are never left alone in a crisis. You are always part of a human network of mutual support—your family, tribe, community, and country ensure care. She wasn’t prepared for the ‘procedural coldness’ she encountered, where people seemed hidden behind rules and regulations.
This experience deeply shook her trust in the world—the felt sense that, in her time of greatest need, she would be held and supported.
And with all these anecdotes, I think to myself:
Jeez, humans are so vulnerable! I deeply wish for everyone to be seen, treated, and held with the utmost care and gentleness. It’s so easy to break people, yet so profoundly beautiful to be able to see, nurture, and support one another.
I’m incredibly grateful to NVC for equipping me with concrete skills to recognize the tiniest details of what is alive within and between people, and for helping me slowly slowly learn how to nurture each other in the most vulnerable spots of our souls.
With much wish for being human together,
Yoram